


Confused, Confused, Can't Figure Out My Own Feelings

by FestusGirl



Series: But I'm Straight... Right? [1]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mortal, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, I Tried, I mean, Internalized Acephobia, Light Angst, M/M, Nico di Angelo is a Cute Dork, Questioning, Will Solace is a Mess, because there's no strangers to friends to lovers tag sigh, because we stan representation, but only if you squint so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:40:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26644621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FestusGirl/pseuds/FestusGirl
Summary: Will had never really been quite keen on the conversation regarding love and crushes. It just made him uncomfortable for a reason he could never explain. // aka Will has a hard time figuring himself out, but his friends help him find the answer. (Eventual solangelo)
Relationships: Jason Grace/Piper McLean, Lavinia Asimov/Original Character, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Series: But I'm Straight... Right? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1992331
Comments: 10
Kudos: 86





	Confused, Confused, Can't Figure Out My Own Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> okay wow... i,, actually finished this??? never in a million years did i expect to finish a long oneshot lol. but here we are anyway! i was inspired to write this after having read a shit ton of ace/aro fics and realising that what, i haven't done that yet? i know, i know, i'm so original. but yeah, as an ace aro myself this fic means quite a lot to me since it portrays some of my own experience and frustration, so i really hope you guys enjoy uwu
> 
> also, i'd like to give a massive shoutout to my most amazing beta ever @lovelylittlelion, thank you for coming along on this wild ride, and helping me out countless of times. i could not have done this without you <3
> 
> anyways, the title was inspired by danceracha's _wow_ (one of my fav songs at the moment hehe) and as always, characters belong to rick riordan.

Will had never really been quite keen on the conversation regarding love and crushes and all of that. It just made him uncomfortable for a reason he could never explain.

It had all started when Will was eight. He was hanging out with two of his best friends, and they suddenly started talking about crushes.

'I have a crush on Lisa,' Max admitted, sighing softly.

Jordan nodded. 'Me too, she's so pretty.' He then turned to Will. 'What about you?'

Will thought about it for a while. Did he have a crush on anyone? No. Why would he? There was nobody in their class who he liked more than the rest. He didn't even know how he should feel about having a crush.

There was one girl, Ella, who he thought was beautiful, but his feelings for here weren't any more than that. Was that what a crush was? His friends had called Lisa pretty and said they were crushing on her. Yes, that was probably it.

'Uhm, Ella is really nice. I guess I like her,' he said, and the other boys nodded in approval.

'Well, you can have Ella and then me and Lisa will get married. Max can find someone else,' Jordan said, laughing.

Max crossed his arms whining about that not being fair, but Will started thinking about what Jordan had said. He'd wanted to marry Lisa? But that's not what Will felt for Ella. Did he not have a crush then? Or were Jordan's feelings just stronger?

'Hey, Will, you okay?' Max suddenly asked.

Realising he had spaced out for a little, Will quickly shook all the thoughts about crushes from his mind. 'Yeah, I was just thinking.'

'About Ella?' His friends laughed, and Will joined them, but his mind slowly wandered back to Ella. Did he really like her like _that?_

When he got home, he decided to ask his mother what a crush felt like. His mother looked at him with a sweet smile and told him it was when somebody made you feel really happy and gave you a fluttery feeling in your stomach whenever you thought of them. Will nodded and thanked her.

That night he decided that he didn't have a crush after all.

It was about three years later when the conversation popped up again. It had been so long, Will had almost forgotten it existed. But it did, and that's what landed him in his second talk about crushes.

This time he was having lunch with Lisa, the girl his friends had had a crush on that time they'd first discussed the topic.

'Hey Will, can I ask you something?' Lisa asked him.

'Yeah, of course!'

She took a deep sigh, and Will noticed she seemed to be avoiding his eye contact.

'Uhm, Lisa, are you okay?'

'Y-yeah, it's just... There's this girl I like, and I don't know how to tell her. I just wanted to ask you if you maybe have advice on how to ask a girl out, but I've never told anyone about my crush before. I was just nervous that's all,' she explained, finally looking at him again.

'Um... Well, I- uh,' Will started, not quite sure what to tell her. He'd never liked anyone before, at least not in the way his mother had told him what liking someone was like. How was _he_ supposed to give her advice on this?

'I get it, you think it's weird I like girls. You don't have to help me, I'm sorry.'

Lisa stood up, and Will could see how hurt she looked. He really wanted to help her, he did. He just didn't know how.

'Lisa, wait! It's not that. I think it's great you trusted me enough to tell me, it's just that I've, uhm... I've never liked anyone before.'

'Oh... That's- that's a relief. For a second, I thought you were like the others,' she said, sighing.

'The others?' Will asked confused.

'Some people... they yell at me when I tell them I like girls. It's just so frustrating sometimes, because guys get to tell me I'm not allowed to like girls while they can? That's so rude.'

'Yeah...' Will said, not quite sure what to tell Lisa since he was still busy taking in everything she'd said. 'I'd really love to help you, it's just that, like I said, I don't like anyone.'

Lisa smiled at him. 'Don't worry about it, it's fine.'

'You sure?'

She nodded before saying: 'This is my first real crush, so everything is kind of new. I know how you feel.'

She knew how he felt? But _she_ was the one with a crush. She knew the difference between having one and not having one. Will didn't. He'd never known. And his mother's answer had been so vague, especially about that 'fluttery feeling'.

'Lisa, can I ask you something now?' Will said, a bit hesitant.

'Yeah.'

Will looked away and played with the hem of his shirt while he asked her: 'How did you know you had a crush?'

When he took a quick glance at Lisa again, she seemed to be deep in thought.

'I don't know. You just _feel_ something.'

'Like, a fluttery feeling in your stomach?'

'Yeah, something like that. It's like everything that has to do with that person makes happy butterflies fly around inside you. At least for me.'

Will thought about that for a while. Happy butterflies. At least now he knew that fluttery feeling didn't mean you got sick.

'Thanks Lisa.'

'No problem.'

'Oh, and maybe you could just get your crush some chocolates and put it in her desk with a note,' he suggested.

Lisa gasped, her face full of excitement. 'That's a great idea! Do you want to help me pick out the right chocolates this afternoon?'

Will nodded, smiling.

Two years later, Will went to high school. New school, new friends, and new crush related conversations. A lot of new crush related conversations. It's like everyone seemed to have them all of a sudden.

It was a Saturday night, and Will was having a sleepover with some of his new friends, Leo and Piper.

'Hey, do you guys want to play Truth or Dare?' Piper asked after they'd finished talking about how much they hated their arts and crafts teacher.

'Yeah, sure,' the boys agreed.

'Great! I'll start,' Piper said excitedly, with an evil looking smile on her face.

Leo frowned. 'You had this all planned out from the beginning, didn't you?'

'Maybe. Maybe not,' she answered shrugging. 'Anyway, Will, truth or dare?'

'Dare.'

'Okay, cool. Uhm... Go downstairs and steal the cookie jar.'

Will grinned widely. This was easy. He snuck downstairs and shoved a cookie in his mouth when he successfully returned to Piper's room.

'So, Piper, truth or dare?' he asked when they'd all had a cookie.

'Hm... Truth.'

Will thought about it for a little before remembering all the hours Piper had spent talking about some boy from her math's class that she really liked. 'Did you ask Jason out yet?'

'Nope,' she answered without hesitation. 'Okay, Leo, truth or dare.'

'Dare.'

Piper sighed. 'I'd love to say you guys are boring, because I want some tea to be spilt, but honestly, my other friends never choose dare so this is also fun. Well Leo, enjoy running around under the sprinklers,' she finished with an evil laugh.

Will and Piper watched from the window as Leo ran around and laughed when he came back shivering and wet.

A few more rounds passed, truths were told and dares we done, until at some point Leo asked Will: 'Truth or dare?'

'Hmm...' Will tapped his chin, pretending to be deep in thought. 'I guess truth?'

Leo pouted. 'But I had such a good dare.'

'Too bad shortie,' Will said, shrugging. 'Now, give me my truth.'

'Yeah, okay, give a minute jeez.'

Piper and Will waited patiently while Leo thought of a good truth to ask. He eventually had one but sighed telling them it was overly cliché, but that he couldn't think of anything else at the moment.

'Nobody cares, Leo,' Piper said, obviously starting to get impatient.

'I care. I want to ask interesting questions,' Leo whined.

'Seriously, just give me my truth, Leo, it only becomes an interesting question when I have an interesting answer, right?'

Leo looked at Will and nodded slowly. 'Fair enough. Okay, Will, do you have a crush on anyone?'

He could have asked _anything_ else, but of course. It always seemed to be about crushes. Will had asked Piper about her crush, so it would only seem fair that they ask about his now, but he was getting sick and tired of the question. Over the past year, his classmates had asked him plenty of times, and every time he'd given them the same answer:

_'No, I don't have a crush on anybody.'_

_'Aw, c'mon, you can trust me. I won't tell anyone,'_ they'd say.

_'But I don't, so I can't tell you anything.'_

The conversations were always the same. He'd tell them no, and they'd say that he was lying, and his face was becoming red. Will knew they were joking, but it was annoying to hear them make fun of him in hopes that he'd spill his guts about his non-existent crush. As if they knew his feelings better than him. Then again, Will barely even knew what a crush was supposed to feel like, so maybe they did. But he still found it rude and extremely annoying.

He looked away from Piper and Leo before mumbling his standard answer.

'Sorry, what was that?' Piper asked.

'I don't like anyone,' Will repeated, still avoiding any form of eye contact.

'Oh, okay, I guess it was a boring question after all,' Leo said. 'Will, it's your turn now.'

The air around them had become tight and awkward, and Will didn't know why. Was it because he'd acted weird instead of just telling them straightforward? But if he'd done that, maybe they would have laughed at him and told him he was lying, just like everyone else.

'I'm tired, maybe we can continue tomorrow,' he said, before crawling under the covers and closing his eyes.

The next day, they were back to normal, laughing about the most random things, and the awkwardness of the night before was long forgotten.

Time flew by, and before Will knew it, he was studying for his final tests, and then enjoying his well-earned summer holidays.

On the last day of the holidays he decided to go get some coffee at his favourite cafe as a treat. What better way to enjoy his last free day?

When he stepped inside, he smiled, remembering the days when he was little, and he and his mother would come here for hot chocolate in the winters. Maybe he should order some, just for the sake of nostalgia.

After he ordered a cup of hot chocolate and paid for it, he looked around the cafe for a place to sit. It was quite full, but Will saw an empty table, and just as he was about to take a seat, he saw one of his friends from primary school sitting at a table nearby.

'Lisa!'

Lisa looked up and flashed a bright smile at him. 'Will! Hey, it's been so long, how are you?'

'Yeah, I'm doing okay, how about you?' Will said as he sat down at the table Lisa was sitting at.

'I'm doing pretty good too, thanks. Oh! Will, this is my girlfriend, Lavinia,' Lisa said, motioning to the girl sitting with them at the table. She then turned to her girlfriend and told her Will was an old friend from primary school.

'It's nice to meet you,' Lavinia said. She had bright pink hair and a mischievous sparkle in her brown eyes, but she seemed very nice, so Will happily answered:

'Nice to meet you too.'

'So, Will, what have you been up to the past year or so?' Lisa asked.

Will talked about his new school, and friends, and he enjoyed catching up with Lisa while drinking some good hot chocolate. Lavinia really was nice too, and they got along quite well. After a few hours Will left the girls and went back home, glad to have encountered Lisa. Now he had her phone number- and Lavinia's as well- so at least they could keep in touch.

Every once in a while he'd hang out with Lisa again, and she sometimes brought Lavinia along as well. It was always fun, and Will enjoyed hanging out with them. The three became even better friends over the year, but Will and Lavinia hadn't hung out separately without Lisa.

It was when Will's third year of high school had begun, and he'd just celebrated his fifteenth birthday that Lavinia sent him a text, asking if he'd be willing to hang out during the weekend. He texted her a 'yeah, sounds nice' back, and continued working on his homework.

The rest of the week went by in a blur and it had felt like all Will did was blink before he was asking his mother if she could give him a ride to Lavinia's.

When he rang the doorbell, he thought of how strange it was to be hanging out with just Lavinia. It wasn't as if they weren't good friends, but they had never actually done something together with just the two of them.

'Hey, Will,' Lavinia said as she opened the door with a big grin on her face. Lavinia was always smiling, that was one thing Will really liked about her. Smiling people made him smile and smiling felt good.

'Hi Lavinia,' he said, smiling back just as bright. 'Any specific reason you wanted me to come over, or you just got tired of Lisa being there too?' he joked.

Lavinia laughed. 'No, at first I thought it would be nice to just do something fun together since we haven't even done that in our, what? _Year_ of friendship. But then I also needed someone's advice on something, and you were just the person for that, so it's like hitting two birds with one stone, right?'

'Yeah, fair enough,' Will said as Lavinia led him inside to her living room.

'Oh, do you want anything to drink?' she asked.

'Hm... No thanks. So, what is it you need my fabulous advice on?'

Lavinia playfully slapped his arm. 'Yeah, _as if_ your advice is so fantastic. Anyway, next week is my and Lisa's one-and-a-half-year anniversary, and I wanted to do something special.'

Will nodded intrigued as she continued.

'And I wasn't quite sure what to do, since I don't want to make it too big, but I want it to be something you know?'

'Not quite, but I think I get what you mean,' he admitted. 'How did you and Lisa actually meet?'

'It's quite a long story, do you want me to cut it short or just start at the beginning?'

'Well, I only just got here didn't I?' Will said. 'Besides, I like long stories.'

She slowly nodded and started explaining:

'Lisa and I have known each other for about six years now. We met at a theme park, actually. My parents didn't want to go on one of the rides with me, so I decided to go alone instead because it looked so fun. I ended up sitting next to Lisa, and we became friends over the ride. We went again, but then together as friends instead of two strangers sitting together. It was really fun. Then we asked our parents if we could walk around the park together, and they agreed because then they wouldn't have to join us on rides anymore. While we ran around the theme park, they chatted up and became friends too. We all kept in contact afterwards and Lisa and I became best friends. She was actually the one who helped me figure out my sexuality.'

Will could see Lavinia smile fondly at the memories, and he couldn't help but feel warm inside.

'One time, she told me that she wanted to give her crush a box of chocolates with a note, but she didn't know what to write on it, and she asked me for help. At first, I thought she was talking of a boy, so I asked what he was like, but it turned out she liked girls.'

A box of chocolates with a note. Hadn't that been his idea? Now Will smiled at his own memory of Lisa.

'Anyway, I started thinking of the possibility of liking girls, since I'd never really liked boys. And then I realised that there was nobody that I liked. I was confused for a while, and jealous of Lisa for being able to ask her crush out. But then about two years ago, I figured out that demisexuality was a thing, and that the reason I didn't like anyone was because my heart was pining over Lisa all along. Then after half a year of pining, I decided it was taking too long, and asked her out. And she said yes. So here we are now, almost at our one-and-a-half-year anniversary,' she finished with a little giggle.

'That's so nice,' Will said. 'Now I kind of wish I had a nice story to share with somebody.'

Lavinia rolled her eyes. 'Oh please, you never talk about anyone but now you're suddenly sad about being single? Yeah, sure.'

Will put his hands up in surrender. 'Okay, you have a point. Now, let's start thinking of ideas for the anniversary,' he said with a wink.

They sat in a comfortable silence, both trying to think of something nice for Lavinia and Lisa's anniversary.

Will tried thinking of what he'd do if he were in her situation but couldn't seem to imagine something like that ever being the case for him. How strange. He used to always dream of having a girlfriend and a happy ever after when he would be older. But now that he was exactly that, he didn't want a girlfriend. Did he maybe want a boyfriend then? _'No_ _,_ ' he thought to himself. That didn't seem right either.

Realising that his mind was trailing off what he was supposed to be doing, he started thinking of how Lisa and Lavinia met again. That sparked an idea.

'Oh! What if you just take her to the theme park where you guys met?' he suggested. 'I'm sure she'll remember how you met there, and theme parks are fun, so you guys will definitely have a great time.'

Lavinia thought about it for a moment and Will could see the joy that started forming in her eyes.

'Will, that's a great idea! Thank you so much!'

The next week while Will was having a study session with Leo, he saw an Instagram update from both Lisa and Lavinia:

Lisa had posted a picture of their hands holding each other from either of their seats in an attraction. Will guessed it was the one where they'd first met. The caption under the photo was: _I'm so happy to be celebrating my one and a half year with my baby. Thank you for an amazing day ily <3_

Lavinia had a selfie of them somewhere else in the theme park, seeing as there was a big fountain in the background. Lisa was smiling brightly as Lavinia was kissing her cheek. Even though Lavinia's face wasn't completely turned to the camera, Will could see the love and happiness portrayed on her face. All Lavinia's caption said was: _thanks @livingsunshinewill :D_

Will smiled. He was glad they'd had an amazing anniversary.

'Who are they?'

Will hadn't even noticed Leo looking over his shoulder. Seeing Lisa and Lavinia's Instagram updates about their day had made him completely forget where he was.

'Oh, these are my friends, Lisa and Lavinia,' he said.

Leo nodded. 'They look really cute together. Makes me wish I had a girlfriend.'

Will laughed. 'Yeah...'

That made him think of what had happened at Lavinia's again. How he'd thought of the fact that he didn't like girls... or guys. Then what did he like?

Will had never actually thought about it properly. He'd never had a crush, so it always seemed kind of irrelevant to think of what his preference might be. But ever since most of his friends had started talking more about dating, instead of just keeping the conversation with crushes, Will had started wondering about why he'd never had a crush. Maybe he was just a late bloomer. He'd heard plenty of people talk about that. Yes, that was probably it. It couldn't be much else, right?

'Oi, earth to Solace.'

Leo's voice shook him back to reality, and he tried focusing on the words in his history book, but there was some kind of thought in the back of his mind, that he just couldn't seem to reach.

The thought didn't go away. It floated around his mind, distracting him from everything. But every time he thought he knew what it was, the thought buried itself deeper into the back of his mind.

After what felt like forever, he finally started to realise what had sparked the thought.

_And then I realised that there was nobody that I liked._

Lavinia's words. They had spoken to Will in some way that he'd never experienced before. He'd never related to anyone else who'd talked about their crushes, and the fluttery feeling. But now... There was something about what she'd said that made that thought to what it was. He still didn't quite know, but maybe with some help he'd be able to figure it out.

He decided to send Lavinia a message.

**will**

_hey, uhm remember how you told me lisa helped you figure out your sexuality?_

Will bit his lip and hit send. He waited impatiently for about a minute, but then Lavinia responded.

**lavi ^^**

_yeah_

_i take it you want to know what demisexual means?_

**will**

_yes_

Will saw that she was typing for a while, but the answer never came.

**lavi ^^**

_do you maybe have time to get coffee or smth tomorrow? it's easier to explain in person_

He told her that it was fine, and then put his phone away. Lavinia would explain what demisexual was, and then he'd finally know what the strange thought in the back of his head would mean. Yet, something told him that it wasn't that easy, but he waved that thought away.

The next day after school they decided to meet up in the cafe where they'd first met each other. Will arrived a bit earlier than he'd expected, so he already ordered some coffee and found a table to sit at.

Piper had sent him a message asking if he had time to help her with her poetry assignment for her English class, but he told her he was busy and that he'd help her at school the next day.

Just as he was about to check the time, he felt a presence next to him. He looked up, and there was Lavinia. She sat down at the table with a small smile, and then asked:

'So, what would you like to know?'

Will thought about that for a little. What _did_ he want to know? 'Just, what demisexual is, I guess. And maybe if what I feel is that.'

Lavinia nodded. 'Okay, well, I've told you about how I was confused about who I liked, right?'

_But then about two years ago, I figured out that demisexuality was a thing, and that the reason I didn't like anyone was because my heart was pining over Lisa all along._

'Yeah, and you didn't like anyone but Lisa.'

'Exactly.' Lavinia seemed to think about her next words before continuing. 'To me, love is like a door. It could swing one way, it could swing another. It could be a revolving door, who knows? My door though... It's locked and can only be opened with a key.'

'Which Lisa has?'

'Yes, but not quite. Okay, I'll try to explain it a bit differently. So, if my door is locked, it doesn't swing. Not to girls, not to boys, not to anything in between. Do you still get it?'

Will hummed, letting her know that he did.

'So, unless I know someone really well, I'm able to catch feelings. And that's where the key comes in. A door usually has a few spare keys, so it's not like if Lisa and I ever break up I won't be able to fall in love ever again. It just doesn't happen that often, and only if I already know a person really well.'

Will nodded, taking her words in. She didn't like anyone either, unless she knew them properly. That made a lot of sense, and Will finally felt like he got why he'd never had a crush before. He probably just needed to find the right person. His person with the key.

The next day Will woke up feeling better than ever. The strange distracting thought was gone forever, he finally knew why he'd never had a crush before, and he knew that he wasn't the only one. Loads of people felt that way, including Lavinia. It felt good to have figured himself out.

'Hey, Will,' Piper said excitedly when he arrived at school.

'Pipes, what's up? You seem really happy.'

Leo, who was sitting next to Piper rolled his eyes. 'I've had to sit through this story like five times already,' he whined. Then he turned to Piper. 'Could you please keep it short this time?'

'Yeah, fine,' she sighed.

'Well, what is it? You guys are making me curious,' Will teased.

'Okay, so, yesterday I went to the library because this poetry assignment is an absolute bitch. Oh, you're free this afternoon to help me right, Will?'

He nodded and Piper continued.

'So, as I was looking around for some old books or something that might help me, I noticed Jason was there too! And then I found the book I needed, which later turned out to be extremely useless, but okay. Anyway, me being short, I couldn't reach it of course, so I asked Jason if he could get it for me. After that we talked for a bit, and I may or may not have flirted too.'

Will gasped. 'Wait, did you finally ask him out?'

Piper shook her head, smiling widely. _'He_ asked _me_ if I wanted to go on a date with him next week!'

'Pipes, that's amazing! I'm so happy for you!' Will said, embracing his friend in a hug.

'I know! I'm really excited,' she said. 'I just... I'm still kind of in shock. I honestly can't believe this is actually happening.'

Leo sighed. 'But seriously, even if Jason rejected you, there's plenty of guys who'd want to date you. And I'd bet the reason for no girls ever liking me is because they all have a crush on you too. At least you have people coming up to you. I have to face rejection every time I like someone.'

'Leo, I'm sure there are plenty of people who like you,' Will said, patting his shoulder comfortingly. 'At least you _have_ crushes.'

'What do you mean?'

Now Will sighed. 'Well, I've never had a crush before, so yeah. I used to think I was broken or something. But yesterday Lavinia told me about what demisexual was, so I think I'm that.'

It was silent for a little as Piper and Leo took I what he'd just told them. Wait... did he just come out to his friends?

Before Will could panic about what he'd done, Leo asked: 'Uhm, what is demisexuality? Is that like, that you only have a crush on Demi Lovato?'

Piper and Will both started laughing at Leo's cluelessness.

'Oh my god Leo, you should stop taking things so literally!' Piper gasped between laughs.

'Hey, it's not my fault I don't know what demisexual is!'

'Leo, you also thought Piper was in love with pans,' Will reminded him, still laughing loudly.

'Fine! Laugh at me!' Leo complained. 'But don't expect me to know what it is if you don't tell me,' he said while crossing his arms.

'Right. So, it's basically that I rarely have a crush and only ever develop feelings for someone if already know them really well,' Will said. It really did feel good to have an explanation for his lack of crushes, but something still didn't quite feel right. Maybe he just had to get used to this new description of him.

'It's a form of asexual,' Piper added and Leo nodded.

'Okay, I get it now. I'm sorry for being so dumb, I'll try not to be next time.'

'I highly doubt there'll be a next time, since you'd be the one coming out,' Piper said deadpan.

Leo frowned. 'But I'm straight.'

Will gasped. 'Leo, I'm so proud of you! We'll love you no matter what, you know that right?' he said dramatically.

Leo hit his shoulder with an 'oh shut up' but Will could tell by his smile that he didn't mean it. Then the bell rang, signalling the start of class.

A few days went by, but Will felt like something wasn't right. He'd tried telling himself he was demisexual every morning when he woke up, so he could maybe get used to it. But with every morning that passed, it only seemed to get worse. It just felt so _wrong._

So, after what felt like forever, Will decided to look up the term for the first time. Why he hadn't done that before, he didn't know. All he knew was that he wanted the label to feel like it belonged to him, like a proper label should.

_Demisexual:_

_Not experiencing any sexual attraction to another until a greater bond is formed._

Such a simple description, yet so wrong. Besides, Will preferred Lavinia's metaphor with the locked door.

Will kept on looking in hopes of finding a perfect description for the term, but they were all remotely the same. He sighed. When Lavinia had explained what it was, Will had felt like he finally knew himself. As if the word 'demisexual' had been the answer to a question he'd had his entire life. But now it seemed like there was a big red cross marking the answer as incorrect.

Just as he was about to give up and go to bed, Will remembered Piper saying something about it being a form of asexuality. He knew that he wasn't asexual. He wanted to be with someone, and have a happy relationship, and probably also have sex. Eventually. But he just didn't have a crush. There was no way he could be asexual, but Will typed it in the search bar anyway. For research purposes obviously.

_Asexual_

_The purest definition of asexual, is literally anti sexual. This means that they neither want nor need sexual contact with another person to feel fulfilled. However, some asexuals do want or even like sexual contact with their romantic partners._

Will found himself reading about it all night. There were asexuals who did like sex, but there were also loads who didn't. Whether they liked it or not didn't have anything to do with them being asexual apparently.

Then there was also the whole spectrum that made Will dizzy. He never knew sexualities could be this complex. There were so many terms; asexual, demisexual, greysexual, fraysexual, abrosexual and many more.

He didn't really pay much attention to them but read on about asexuality instead. Will learnt that there were a lot of different types of asexuals. Plenty of them were also aromantic, which meant that they didn't have any romantic attractions to others. Maybe that was why he'd never had a crush. He was aromantic.

Just like when Lavinia had explained about demisexuality, Will seemed to understand himself better. Maybe the reason for him not being able to relate properly to the demisexual label was because there was something missing: the aromantic label.

He'd never had a crush because he didn't have any romantic attractions, and the reason he didn't know who he liked was because he had to get to know someone well before even thinking about being in a relationship. Yes! Will felt so happy that he'd figured it out. For good this time. Now he could go on with life not having to worry about whether or not he was broken for not being able to have a crush. He'd find his person with the key at some point. He just wouldn't have a crush on them.

A few months passed without anything going on. Will did his homework, hung out with his friends, did the usual things he'd do, and the days seemed to pass smoothly. Especially now that he'd finally found the answer to his strange thought, which hadn't come back at all.

One day, he and Lavinia decided to go to the library, since Lavinia had asked Will if he could help her study for her upcoming biology test. Biology was Will's best subject, and he loved helping his friends, so he said yes. He also needed a book from the library for his English assignment so that worked out nicely.

'Hey, Lavi,' he said as he sat down at the table she was working at.

'Finally, a bio nerd who can _actually_ help me,' Lavinia sighed.

Will shook his head. 'Honestly, it's not that hard.'

Lavinia rolled her eyes. 'Yeah, just like I told you about Spanish. But did you think that way too?'

'Hey, that's not fair! I'm just bad at learning languages,' Will complained.

'And I'm not good at biology, so you can help me out, just like you promised.'

Will could see the mischievous glint in her eyes and reminded himself that she was right. This was no time to be complaining about how hard Spanish was.

They worked for about an hour before Lavinia dropped her head on the desk. 'Seriously, Will, this isn't working. You've explained this over and over, _but I don't get it_ _,_ ' she said, sounding a bit desperate. 'I hate this fucking subject.'

Will put his hand on her shoulder and assured her that it would be fine. They just had to go over it a few more times before she'd understand it.

'But we've been doing this for an hour already. Don't you have better things to do?' she asked.

Will shook his head. 'I said I'd help you, so that's what I'm going to do. I don't care if that takes up all my time, I could always make you pay for a coffee later.'

'If that's all, then I'll gladly pay for your coffee.'

'I was joking,' Will said with a snort. 'You're my friend, so I'll help you okay? For free.'

Lavinia nodded. 'Okay.'

Just as they were about to continue, someone walked up to them. It was a girl about their age, with long brown hair, and dark eyes.

'Reyna!' Lavinia said. She then turned to Will. 'Will, this is my friend Reyna, we're in the same class.'

Will smiled and waved a little. 'Nice to meet you, I'm Will.'

'Nice to meet you too.'

'What are you doing here?' Lavinia asked.

'Oh, I only really came here to help Nico get some books. He's always complaining about not being able to reach anything,' Reyna answered with a smirk.

'Yeah, well, it's not my fault I'm short,' someone else answered. The person in question was a boy that had just walked over to them. He was indeed not very tall, and he had jet black hair, just long enough that he was wearing it in a small ponytail. He also wore a black bomber jacket over a plain black shirt with ripped black jeans, and Will had to admit that even though he was small, the boy looked pretty intimidating.

'Well, well, speak of the devil,' Reyna said, shaking her head. 'Nico, these are Will and Lavinia. One of them is a friend of mine, so you better be nice.'

'I'll decide for myself if I want to be nice or not,' the boy, Nico, answered.

Reyna rolled her eyes and Will snorted. That made Nico glare at him, but Will just smiled back.

'Okay, Reyna, I hope for you the blonde one isn't your friend.'

Lavinia laughed, while Reyna told him that 'the blonde one' was indeed not her friend.

'Good, then I don't need to be nice to him.'

Instead of feeling offended, Will actually found it quite funny, but he tried hiding the laugh bubbling in his throat anyway since it probably wouldn't make the situation any better.

'Well, it was nice talking to you guys for a bit, but Thalia just texted me asking if I could come over. So yeah, I must go now. Bye Neeks,' Reyna said, patting Nico's head. 'Oh, and good luck with bio,' she added, winking at Lavinia.

Lavinia stuck her tongue out, but Reyna was already gone.

It was silent for a good minute before Nico mumbled a soft 'okay, bye' and then hurried off too.

After that Will started noticing Nico around a lot more. He saw him in the halls at school every now and then, and he saw him in the library sometimes. He even saw him when he went to his favourite cafe to get some coffee. It was then that he decided to actually go talk to him instead of just thinking to himself _'oh, that's Nico.'_

He ordered his coffee and paid for it, but instead of leaving and going home like he'd planned, he walked over to the table where Nico was sitting alone, listing to music.

'Hi,' he said, smiling warmly as he sat down at the table.

Nico took off his headphones and raised an eyebrow. 'You again?'

'What do you mean 'you again'?' Will said, making air quotations with his fingers. 'We met _once_ _,_ and we didn't even talk.'

'Yeah, so why would you come sit with me then?'

Will thought about that for a moment. He didn't really know why, but he'd felt like he should actually get to know Nico. He knew who he was, and he couldn't help but notice him every time he was around, so it only seemed right to properly introduce himself. Nico apparently remembered him, so that was good start.

'I'm Will,' he said. 'Will Solace.'

'Yeah, I know,' Nico said deadpan. 'But you never answered my question.'

'I wanted to talk with you,' Will finally said, shrugging a little.

'You wanted to talk... with me? About what?' Nico asked sounding a bit sceptical.

Will smiled. 'I don't know, I just felt like properly introducing myself.'

'Which you did. So, you can leave now. Bye, bye,' the other boy said, waving.

Will could tell that even his slight hand motion was sarcastic. But he wasn't planning on giving up so easily. He came here to get to know Nico, so that's what he was going to do.

'But you never even told me your name,' he said pouting.

Nico looked at him, still showing no sign of interest to talk with Will. 'I know you know my name.'

Will sighed. 'Yeah, well, you could still tell me. I told you my name.'

'Which I already knew, by the way, but whatever. Fine, I'm Nico di Angelo. Are you going to leave now?'

'You're not really a people-person, are you?' Will asked laughing.

'Exactly, and since you don't seem to get the hint, I'll be leaving. Goodbye.' Nico stood up and put his headphones on again. He then turned on his heel and left.

Will frowned. Maybe getting to know Nico wouldn't be as easy as he'd expected, but he wasn't planning on giving up. There was just something about that boy that made Will want to be friends with him.

The next day after school Will, Piper and Leo all went to the library to make their English assignments together. They'd found a table to sit at and laid their books out.

With a deep sigh, Leo said: 'This is going to be a long afternoon.'

'Yep,' the other two agreed.

They worked in silence for a little and only talked to ask each other questions every now and then, but after about twenty minutes Piper slammed her book shut with a groan.

'You know what? Screw this, I'm going to get a frappuccino,' she said.

'Hey, if you're getting a drink, then so am I,' Leo said. 'Are you coming too Will?'

'Uh, no thanks. I'll stay here until you guys get back.'

'You sure?' Piper asked.

Will nodded, smiling.

They grabbed their bags- but left their assignments at the table since they'd be back in a few minutes- and left.

Will thought about continuing his assignment but decided that he could use a break anyway. He looked around for a bit, wondering if he should maybe get a book to read or something like that, when he saw Nico. He was walking around with a cart full of books and stacking them on the shelves. It was when Will saw him struggle to but a book on a higher shelf, that he decided to go over to him.

'Hey, I didn't know you worked here,' he said.

Nico didn't even look at him when he said that Will barely knew anything to begin with.

Realising that the conversation was going absolutely nowhere, Will decided to take a different approach.

'Need some help?'

Nico looked up and glared at him. 'No, I'm fine, thanks.'

Will crossed his arms and watched as Nico stood on his toes trying to put the book back. He rolled his eyes and took the book from the shorter boy, effortlessly placing it on the shelf. 'There. You're welcome,' he said with a small smile.

'I could have easily done that myself,' Nico said, scowling.

'Didn't seem like it.'

'Whatever. Thanks for your help, but I don't need it. You can go now.'

'And what if I don't want to?' Will asked, grinning.

Nico scoffed. 'Then you're a creepy ass stalker and I'll have full rights to hit you in self-defence.'

Even though Nico was a lot smaller than him, Will was sure Nico could beat him up since Will was 'a weakling' as Leo liked to say, and basically anyone could win a fight with him if they tried. Will preferred patching up the beaten up instead of being them anyway.

'Okay... Well, if you need help again, you can find me at that table,' he said, pointing to where he'd been sitting a few minutes ago.

'Good, then I won't have to see you again.'

Will nodded and wished him good luck with the books before walking back to the table where Piper and Leo had just arrived again. Sighing, he sat down. Well, that went great... Not.

'Hey, what's up? You seem a bit down in the dumps,' Leo remarked.

'Oh, it's nothing, really. Just this assignment,' Will lied.

Piper patted his shoulder. 'We'll get through this bitch together, okay?'

When Will looked up and saw her assuring smile, he smiled back, his worries about one Nico di Angelo already forgotten.

Will tried talking with Nico a few more times, but it always ended with him flipping Will off, and Will being kind of sad without even knowing why. So, after a while he just stopped trying. The other boy clearly didn't want anything to do with him, so it wasn't worth it.

It was about two months after Will had decided not to go chasing after Nico that he encountered him again.

Piper had begged him to come with her to a party Jason was hosting. Will didn't really like parties with all the drunk people doing weird shit everywhere, but him being the good friend he was, he said yes. Who knew, maybe now that he was a little older, he'd like parties a bit more.

'Oh my god, thank you so much Will! You're the best,' Piper exclaimed.

Will rolled his eyes but smiled. 'Yeah, yeah, I know. But why exactly do you need me to come?' he asked.

'Moral support, I guess. I don't know honestly. I just don't want to turn up at my boyfriend's party all lonely you know?'

'No.'

'Okay, well, that's fine, I'm just glad you're coming. I know you're not a fan of parties, but Leo didn't want to come since he has a date or something, so yeah,' she explained.

Will nodded. 'Okay, but you have to help me pick out an outfit, because I don't want to walk in there either overdressed or underdressed,' he said, crossing his arms.

Piper squealed happily. 'Yes! Of course! We're going to have a great time, I promise.'

Even though Will was kind of sceptical about it, he decided to trust Piper's word.

Later that evening, she came over to his house to help him get ready. Piper herself looked very nice, so he was confident that she'd make him look good, which she did. Piper did not disappoint, because when Will looked in the mirror, he was surprised at how good he looked too. He was used to his reflection wearing sweats and having dishevelled hair, but now it looked back at him with fluffy hair combed through for once, a pair of skinny jeans and a casual white shirt with a necklace his mother had once given him.

Piper had insisted on him putting on a bit of light makeup too, but Will thought he looked fine without it. Besides, without makeup his freckles stood out more. Satisfied, they made their way to Jason's house.

'You ready?' Piper asked him before she rang the doorbell.

Will took a deep breath and nodded.

Piper took his hand and squeezed it, and then rang the doorbell.

As soon as it opened, everything seemed to go by in a blur; someone unfamiliar greeted them with a wide grin, Piper went to find Jason, and Will was left alone with the stranger who shoved a drink in his hand and left while laughing loudly, leaving Will all alone in a house he'd never been to, surrounded by people he didn't know.

 _'Oh, right, so this is why I didn't like parties,_ _'_ he reminded himself.

He looked around and saw strangers everywhere. Piper was nowhere to be seen and Will was starting to question how extroverted he actually really was. He didn't want to be here, and he didn't even have anyone to talk to.

Deciding that anything was better than staying in the hallway alone, Will walked around, taking sips of his drink every now and then. Something tasted off about it, but Will was too bored to care.

He pushed his way past lots of dancing people, and other people having fun and enjoying their time, until he made it to the kitchen. There were surprisingly very little people there, and even more surprising: Nico di Angelo. He was leaning against the counter, arms crossed, looking just as bored as Will felt.

Maybe it was because of the strange thing he'd just drunk, or because Nico was the only one there that he knew, but Will found himself walking over to the younger boy.

'Hey,' he said. 'What are you doing here?'

Without looking up Nico said: 'I could ask you the same thing. But to answer your question, my friend dragged me here.'

Will took another sip of his drink and shrugged. 'My friend begged me to come with her. So, you could say we're kind of both here against our wills.'

When Nico finally looked at him, he frowned. 'You should probably not drink that, you know? I'm guessing due to all the drunk people around that it's spiked.'

Will slowly put the almost empty cup down, remembering that something about it had tasted off. He then took a good look at Nico for the first time that evening. He was wearing all black again, but this time silver chains dangled from his wrists and pierced ears. Unlike Will, he was wearing some makeup, the black eyeliner making his dark eyes stand out even more.

'You're staring,' he said, and it took a moment for Will to realise that he had even been staring at Nico.

'S-sorry,' he stuttered, feeling his cheeks warm up. There had definitely been something in that drink, because he was usually never this flustered. But then again, Nico looked really good.

'Thanks,' Nico snorted.

'Wait... Was that out loud?' Will asked, not remembering having said that.

'Yeah. But you don't look half that bad yourself.'

Will felt his face grow even warmer, so he looked down, hoping Nico wouldn't see his red cheeks as he mumbled a quick 'thanks'.

He didn't really know how it happened, but he and Nico ended up talking for the rest of the evening, and he somehow finished his spiked drink anyway. After that he didn't remember much, and when he woke up with a slight headache the next morning, he had no clue how the contact 'smol nico' had been added to his phone, but he wasn't complaining.

After the party, Will and Nico started talking a lot more, about anything and everything. Now that he'd befriended the younger boy, Will was able to learn a lot more about him. Nico was apparently Italian, and spoke the language fluently as well; that was something Will hadn't seen coming. He could have guessed that Nico liked listening to music, or that his favourite ice cream flavour was plain old vanilla. But that he was Italian? Definitely not.

Over the months they became better friends, and Will decided that he really enjoyed hanging out with Nico. Especially since Leo had gotten a girlfriend and now both of his best friends often ditched him to hang out with their significant others. So, when they were doing their couple things, Will would hang out with Nico, and do not-couple things. Everything worked out fine. Until one day.

He and Nico were having a picknick out in the fields near Will's house. It was a beautiful day, the sun shining brightly on their faces, and Will couldn't have felt happier.

They were lying on their backs and looking at the clouds, trying to make out what kind of shapes they had.

'Look, there, that one looks like you,' Will said pointing at one of the clouds.

Nico looked at the sky in deep thought, but after a while he frowned. 'How the hell does that look like me?'

Will giggled. 'It's really small compared to the other clouds, don't you see?'

'Rude,' Nico said while slapping him on the shoulder.

'No, hitting me is rude.'

'Try me,' he said, as he glared at Will.

If Will had seen that glare before he knew Nico, he'd have run away like crazy. The smaller boy was pretty intimidating when he did that, but now that he knew him, he couldn't think of Nico as intimidating. He was like a little kitten. An adorable little emo kitten. Anything but intimidating.

'You're so cute when you do that,' he said.

Nico immediately stopped glaring and looked away, his cheeks slightly pink. Will smiled at the younger boy's reaction.

'I'm not cute,' Nico mumbled.

'Hm... I disagree.'

Will looked at Nico, wondering if he'd say anything back, when he finally looked up at him again. He was definitely blushing, and Will smiled fondly at him. Nico never blushed.

'Yep, so cute.'

'I'm not cute, so stop saying that,' Nico told him. 'Or I'll hit you again. And stop pouting at me.'

Will pouted even more, and just as he was about to argue that Nico was the cutest of all, he felt something on his lips.

Before he could realise what was going on, Nico was already running away. He wanted to run after him, but he was too shocked about what had just happened. Subconsciously he moved his fingers to his lips, where he could still feel the tingling feeling of his first kiss.

Nico had kissed him. And Will hadn't minded it. Yes, he liked Nico, platonically, as a friend. But the thought of them kissing had never crossed Will's mind, so why didn't he mind it when Nico had kissed him? He knew he never had crushes, but he'd know if he'd want to kiss someone, right? That's what the person with the key was for. But then why did he feel so confused?

So many thoughts were swirling through his mind at the same time, so Will decided it might be better to go home to think about it. Maybe he'd wake up in a few minutes and it would turn out that it was just some strange dream.

But it wasn't. Will remembered everything clearly the next morning. He didn't see Nico anywhere either, which would have been suspicious if it had been a dream. But it definitely wasn't.

He tried putting everything together, to see if that would help him think straight again. Nico had kissed him. Then Nico ran away and disappeared. Wasn't it supposed to be the other way around? If _he'd_ kissed Will, wasn't Will the one who'd be running away? He was so confused; nothing made any sense.

'Hey, Will, are you alright? You seem to be spacing out the whole time,' Piper said. They were studying for their upcoming maths test at her house, but Will's mind was clouded with thoughts of Nico and he couldn't focus.

He sighed. 'I'm sorry Pipes, it's just... something happened and I'm not really sure what to do about it.'

Piper nodded. 'And do you want my help, or are you going to figure out an answer on your own?'

Will thought about that for a moment. 'I guess I could use some help.'

'Okay, well, can you maybe tell me what happened?' she asked.

He explained everything from the moment he and Nico were looking at clouds to the moment the other boy ran away, trying not to let out any details.

'It's just... I'm so confused, you know? He ran away, and I don't know what I'm feeling right now- and... and...'

Before he knew it, he broke down in tears. He didn't even know why he was crying, but he let Piper rub his back comfortingly as the tears ran down his face.

After he'd calmed down a bit, he took a shaky breath and continued: 'All I want to know is why he ran away...'

'I have my suspicions,' Piper said softly. 'But maybe that's not important right now. I think figuring out your feelings is the best thing to do now.'

Will nodded.

'So, what did you think when he kissed you?' she asked, still rubbing circles on his back.

'I don't know. I guess I was surprised.'

'Hm... No weirded-out feelings?'

Will thought about it but couldn't think of anything wrong with kissing Nico.

He shook his head. 'I was just shocked that's all.'

Piper nodded. She seemed to be deep in thought for a while, but Will tried to remember how he felt about Nico kissing him. It had been a bit out of the blue and strange, because he'd never kissed anyone before. But it wasn't that Will didn't like it. There was something quite nice about it that made him feel happy.

'Will,' Piper said finally, tapping him on his shoulder to get his attention back. 'I think you might like Nico, am I right?'

'No,' he said without hesitation. He liked Nico, but not like that.

She raised an eyebrow at him. 'Are you sure?'

'Yes, I'm sure. Why, are you going to tell me I'm lying now?' Will said, getting annoyed. He thought he was finally over the childish accusations of him lying about having a crush.

'Of course not! I'm just asking if you're sure, because if someone I didn't like kissed me, I would feel surprised too, but also as if something isn't quite right,' she explained. 'You didn't have that either?'

Will closed his eyes and replayed the scene in his mind. Nico looking adorable. Nico blushing and being flustered. Nico's soft lips on his.

Nothing seemed out of the ordinary besides the fact that two platonic friends usually don't just kiss each other. But he didn't feel any different about Nico. Well, maybe part of him did want to kiss Nico again which wasn't something he'd always thought.

The sudden realisation hit him like a brick.

'Oh my god.'

'What is it?' Piper asked shocked.

'I- I think you might be right. Maybe I do like Nico. But...'

'But what?'

'...aren't I supposed to feel _something?'_

Piper frowned. 'What do you mean?'

'I mean that I'm demisexual. Then I'm supposed to know when I like someone, right? Like the fluttery butterflies everyone always talks about?' he said, starting to feel a bit frustrated.

'First of all, obliviousness exists. Second, you don't _have_ to feel attracted to someone to like them. Tell me, what about Nico attracted him to you? Piper asked.

'Is it wrong if I say nothing? Does... Does that mean I don't like him after all?'

Piper cut off his rambling by slapping him across his face. 'Are you even listening to me? I just said that liking someone doesn't always mean you're attracted to them. Now, there is no wrong answer, okay? What makes you attracted to Nico?'

After a moment of silence Will eventually said: 'Nothing.'

Piper hummed softly and nodded. 'So, does that mean you don't like him?'

'No.'

She smiled at him. 'Exactly. And there's nothing wrong with that. Maybe you were just trying to convince yourself you had to feel that way, because everyone around you does. I know I did. I used to tell myself I was straight, that I had to like boys. I couldn't like girls. I told myself I was just jealous of how pretty other girls were.' She sighed. 'But once I finally accepted that I just really liked everyone, not just girls, but also boys and anything in between, I could finally relax, and not have to worry about it. I could focus on asking my crush out instead of forcing myself not to like them.'

When Piper finished, Will realised that he thought the same about himself. How he told himself there was no way he could be asexual. Maybe he was wrong the whole time. That the reason for him not relating to the demisexual label was because he _wasn't_ demisexual.

'Um, Piper, I think I just realised something,' he said.

'You were lying to yourself the whole time too?'

He sighed and nodded.

'I figured,' she said, patting his shoulder. 'You're ace, aren't you?'

Will nodded again, feeling a lot better to his surprise. 'How did you know?' he asked.

'I always had a feeling that you were asexual- or at least somewhere on the spectrum. Remember how you, me and Leo played truth or dare at my house in our first year?'

'Mhm.'

'You acted so strange about not having a crush, so I looked it up while you were asleep, and that's when I learnt about it for the first time. Then you always seemed so annoyed when others were talking about their crushes and asked you about yours. And of course, you didn't really seem that sure of yourself when you came out as demi, but I thought it might have just been nerves. Anyway, I'm glad you got over your internalised acephobia,' she finished with a smile.

'I'm glad too, although I don't think it was acephobia,' he said.

'That doesn't matter, I'm just happy for you, okay? And now I _finally_ get to tease you about the fact you like someone too.'

That reminded Will of why they were talking about this in the first place: Nico. 'But what if he doesn't like me?'

Piper stared at him and crossed her arms. She didn't really seem too impressed with his question. 'Are you actually kidding me? Might I remind you that _he_ kissed _you.'_

'But he ran away...'

'I think I know why, but honestly, I'll let you figure that out yourself. So now that we've solved your sexuality problem, let's get these maths problems done, because I don't feel like failing the test.'

About a week went past until Will finally saw Nico again. He had just finished school and decided to go bring some books back to the library. He'd almost forgotten that Nico worked there, but just as he was about to leave, he caught sight of the younger boy struggling to put a book on one of the higher shelves.

Deciding that it was time to actually talk to Nico again, he took a deep breath and walked over to him. He took the book from him and placed it on the shelf.

'You're welcome,' he said with a bright smile.

'W-will... What are you doing here?'

Will leaned against the bookshelf and crossed his arms. 'I came to talk with you.'

Nico glared at him, the kind of flustered look on his face immediately gone. 'Look, if you came here just to tell me you hate me, I get it, but can you please fuck off? I don't need your help.'

'Why would I hate you?' Will asked frowning.

'Will, I really don't want to talk about it right now.'

He realised that this wasn't working, and that if he wanted to talk with Nico, it might as well be when he wasn't working. 'When does your shift end?' he asked.

'Why do you care?'

'Nico, I'm done with all the avoiding. Come get coffee with me after your shift, and then we can talk things out, okay?'

Nico sighed. 'Fine. My shift ends in half an hour, I'll meet you there.'

'Great!' He gave Nico another bright smile and left.

He went to the coffee shop, and when he tried ordering the usual, he found himself talking to a new barista who he'd never seen before.

'Hi what can I get for you?' she asked.

'An iced vanilla macchiato please.'

'And your name?'

'Uh, Will.'

She wrote the order on the cup and just as Will was about to pay for his order, he asked: 'Hey, weird question, but are you new here? I've never seen you before.'

'Ah, yes, I started working here yesterday,' she answered. 'Why?'

'Oh, I usually come here a few times a week to order an iced vanilla macchiato, but since I didn't recognise you, I wasn't sure if you'd know what my usual was,' he explained. 'So that's why.'

The girl hummed. 'Well, I'll keep that in mind, Will.'

He smiled. 'Thanks. And it was nice meeting you...' he took a quick glance at her name tag before continuing, 'Annabeth.'

She smiled back a little before telling him his order should be ready in about a minute.

He got his drink and found a seat at a table near the entrance so Nico would be able to see him immediately. It didn't take long before he walked in and sat down at the table too.

'Don't you want to get a drink?' Will asked him.

'No, I just want to get this over with as soon as possible,' he snapped. Look, I'm sorry that I ki-'

'Why did you run away?' Will cut the other boy off.

'I- I thought you'd hate me and that I ruined our friendship. For fucks sake I didn't even know if you were into guys or not! I was too scared of the rejection, so I ran away. And I know I shouldn't have. I'm sorry,' he explained, looking away.

Will was shocked. He'd thought maybe it had been for a stupid dare, or to play with his feelings, but that Nico might actually like him back? That thought had crossed his mind a few times, but it had seemed like a silly hopeful imagination. 'Y-you like me?' he stammered.

Nico sighed. 'What did you think it was Solace?'

'I don't know... I just didn't think it was possible that you liked me back,' he said softly.

'Wait, like you back? You mean... you like me too? I thought you were going to tell me you hated me.'

Will shook his head. 'I could never. You're so cute and even though you seem really scary, you're actually really kind, and you care so much for the things you love, and I don't know how anyone could ever hate you.' He bit his lip and took a deep breath before continuing. 'Nico, I really like you. Will you be my boyfriend?'

Nico seemed to be in shock too, but after a moment of silence he said: 'Yes! Yes, Will, I'd love to be your boyfriend.'

When Will had walked into the coffee shop a little under an hour ago, he had definitely not expected to walk out hand in hand with his boyfriend, but who was he to complain?

Things were going smoothly in their relationship and Will couldn't have felt happier. They hung out together and watched movies while lying in each other's arms. Will helped Nico out at the library and teased him for not being able to put the books on the higher shelves. Nico took him for a picknick out in the fields near Will's house again and kissed him properly without running off like that first time.

It was then that Will decided that he really liked kissing. Kissing Nico to be specific. The younger's lips were soft and plump, and Will thought he could never get enough of them. Every kiss felt euphoric and Will was addicted.

But kissing was as far as they'd gone; whenever Nico tried taking it a step further, Will cut it off. He'd tried kissing with tongue once, but soon enough discovered it wasn't for him. He knew Nico respected his boundaries, but part of him still felt terrible about it, but he just didn't feel comfortable with anything more than kissing, so there wasn't much he could do.

But he never really thought about it properly until one day, when they were having lunch with two of Nico's friends.

'Percy, Jason, this is my boyfriend Will,' Nico introduced him as they sat down at the table with two other guys. 'Will, these are my friends, Percy,' he said, motioning at a boy with dark hair and green eyes who was grinning and waving excitedly, 'and Jason.' Nico motioned to his other friend, who was muscular and blonde.

'Hey, aren't you a friend of Piper's?' Jason asked.

Will nodded. 'So that means you're her infamous boyfriend Jason Grace,' he said jokingly.

'Yep, the one and only.'

They talked for a while until the waiter asked for their orders. Will ordered a salad, while Nico ordered some fries.

'Hey, how did you guys actually meet?' Percy asked, taking a sip from his blue lemonade.

'If I recall correctly, you kept stalking me after we saw each other at the library some time,' Nico said, raising an eyebrow at Will.

'Yep,' Will admitted. 'But then I gave up on you until some weird party where you randomly thought it would be a good idea to befriend me while I was drunk,' he added.

Nico rolled his eyes. 'Yeah, whatever.'

'Aw, Neeks, you're blushing,' Percy teased.

Jason snorted. 'Whipped.'

'Hey, you don't get to say that after having held almost an hour-long speech of how amazing your first time with your girlfriend was,' Nico complained, crossing his arms.

'I did not need to know that,' Will said.

'Oh, come on, haven't you guys done it yet or something?'

They suddenly all fell silent, and Will started feeling extremely uncomfortable. How had the conversation even gotten there?

'Uhm, no. We're talking it slow,' Nico answered softly.

'Wow, great way to scare of his new boyfriend, Jason,' Percy said. He then leaned over to Will and said: 'Don't mind him, he doesn't think about the fact that not everyone has his oh-so-perfect relationship.'

'You know I can hear you, Jackson.'

Percy rolled his eyes dramatically. 'So? It's true. You're always talking about how fantastic your relationship is, making me feel single as hell.'

'Wait, you're single?' Will asked frowning, earning a slap from Nico.

'We're literally dating, stop flirting with my friend.'

'I'm not flirting!' Will said, putting his hands up in defence. 'I just thought someone like him would be taken already. I was surprised, that's all.'

Percy smiled. 'Aw, thanks. But no, sadly I'm still very single, since I'm apparently 'not somebody's type',' he said, making air quotations with his fingers. 'Right Nico?'

'Oh my god, are you still salty about that?'

Percy opened his mouth in defence but was cut off by the waiter bringing their food.

'Finally, I'm starving,' Jason said.

They all hummed in agreement and dug into their food.

After they all payed and went their separate ways, Jason's words kept repeating themselves over and over in Will's head.

_'Oh, come on, haven't you guys done it yet or something?'_

_'Is there something wrong with that?'_ he wondered. _'No.'_ He knew that was the right answer, yet part of him felt sceptical about it. What if Nico was expecting something more of the relationship, but Will couldn't give him that purely because he didn't feel comfortable with it. Would Nico break up with him eventually?

Will tried shaking the thought from his mind, but it wasn't possible. It kept nagging at him, until the moment he went to sleep. When he woke up, it still wasn't gone, and Will was starting to get anxious.

 _'Nico will get sick and tired of you. He'll get bored, and that'll be the end of your relationship, so do something about it,'_ the voice in his head told him.

Will bit his lip. He knew that the voice wasn't right. Nothing it said was true, and he tried so hard to believe it, but part of him was already giving in, just so it would stop.

_'You know it's true, what else would Nico get out of the relationship? Kisses? Do you think that is enough to make him stay?'_

He thought about it, and whenever he came up with something else, the voice told him that it wasn't enough. It was never enough.

_'Stop being a wuss. It's with someone you love and trust. Besides, everyone likes it, it can't be that bad.'_

The sudden change in tone made Will stop and think for a moment. He loved Nico, he trusted Nico, it would be alright. And if everyone liked it so much, then why shouldn't he? He wouldn't really know until he _actua_ _lly_ tried it, right?

So, when it was time for their weekly movie night, Will felt... Nervous? He didn't know how he felt, but he knew something didn't quite feel right. Probably just nerves, that was all. He should stop making such a problem out of it.

While they watched the movie, Will kept looking at Nico, at how small and adorable he looked cuddled up against his chest. The sight made him feel warm inside, and part of him wanted it to stay like that forever.

 _'But it won't stay like that forever if you don't do anything,'_ the voice told him again. If only it would go away.

He looked at Nico again, thinking about how he should make a move. Should he kiss him and then go from there? Should he just ask Nico? How did people do this?

Maybe he should just ask him, because he knew consent was the most important thing.

'Uhm, Nico...' he tried.

Nico looked at him and slowly raised an eyebrow. 'What's going on?'

'N-nothing,' Will muttered.

'Will, I can tell something's up. I'm not stupid you know,' the younger boy said, sitting up and crossing his arms.

'I know.'

'You can tell me anything, you know that, right? But if you don't want to you don't have to.'

Will smiled softly. Nico was so sweet underneath his dark exterior, and he had no clue how he deserved such an amazing boyfriend. 'I'm fine now, it really was nothing,' he told him, and planted a soft kiss on top of his head.

The movie ended and Will thought it might be a better time now after all. He leaned forward and caught Nico's lips with his. The other boy was clearly taken by surprise, but quickly wrapped his arms around Will's neck.

They kissed for a while, and Will didn't even know how it had happened, but suddenly Nico's hand was under his shirt. He knew it was going to happen, heck, he was even planning for something to happen tonight, but he couldn't help the slight cringe that escaped him.

Nico immediately stopped, and stammered: 'S-sorry, I... I didn't mean to, I mean, I did but... was that too much?'

'No, I um, it's fine... It's probably time we did something more than kiss, right?' Will said.

'So that's what was wrong,' Nico said with a sigh. 'Jason's words from lunch the other day are bothering you, aren't they?'

Will wasn't quite sure if it'd been that obvious or if Nico just knew him that well, but he hadn't expected him to figure it out so easily.

'Of course not! I mean, they got me thinking, but they're not bothering me or anything,' he lied.

Nico looked at him, the disbelief clear on his face.

'Okay, maybe they are bothering me a bit,' Will admitted, hating how stupid it made him feel.

'Hey, it's okay,' Nico said. 'Really, if you're not ready, then you shouldn't feel pressured by something my dumb friend said.'

Will tried to tell him that it had nothing to do with him 'being ready' or not, but his throat felt tight, and no words were coming out. He could feel the tears start to well in his eyes, but he didn't want to cry over something so silly and childish as something that someone had said.

'Will...? Are you alright?' Nico asked hesitantly and Will shook his head.

He knew there was no going around it: the voice in his head telling him Nico was done with taking it slow and the pressure of upkeeping their relationship that it gave him was all starting to get too much, and Will just broke down in tears. The weight of everything all poured out at the same time and there was nothing he could do but cry it out.

Nico rubbed his back while he cried, and it made Will feel a bit better, knowing that he was there beside him.

It took a few minutes for him to calm down, but after a while the tears stopped running down his face, and he just sniffed a little.

Nico cupped his face with his hands, carefully rubbing the wet streaks the tears had made off Will's cheeks. 'Do you feel a bit better now?'

Will nodded, but still looked down, feeling slightly embarrassed.

'That's good,' Nico said, and wrapped an arm around Will's shoulder, holding him close. 'Do you maybe want to tell me what's going on or is that too much right now?' he asked.

It was dead silent for a moment, before Will choked out: 'I'm asexual.'

'Okay.'

Will looked up slowly, finally facing Nico for the first time again in almost half an hour. 'Okay? Th-that's all?' he asked.

'What do you want me to say? _'Ew,_ _you're going to hell'_? Because that would be pretty hypocritical,' Nico said, letting out a laugh. 'Did you honestly think I'd hate you for that?'

'Well, not really. I just thought you were getting sick and tired of taking things slow and you'd get bored and move on.'

'Yeah, I will actually take offence to that. Who do you think I am? A straight fuckboy?' Nico exclaimed.

Will laughed and wiped his nose on the sleeve of his shirt. 'I'm sorry.'

Nico playfully pushed his shoulder. 'I couldn't care less, you idiot. Were you really going to ignore how much you hate that just so I wouldn't break up with you?'

'...yes.'

'Oh my god, you're unbelievable. But seriously, I could never break up with you purely because you don't want to have sex with me. I'd have to be an absolute asshole to do something like that,' he said.

Will's breath hitched. Nico's words made him feel warm and accepted, and he didn't think it was possible to like anyone more than how much he liked Nico. So, he told him:

'Hey Nico?'

'Hm?'

'I love you. So, so much. And I couldn't have asked for a better boyfriend, because I have no clue what I did to deserve you.'

Nico looked away, his face blushing furiously, and Will enjoyed how Nico had turned so flustered in the span of a millisecond. He smiled fondly at him, and the corners of Nico's mouth quirked up slightly.

'I love you too dumbass.'

**Author's Note:**

> okay but i've been working on this fic for a few months and i can't believe i actually finished it. i made it all the way to the end. and so did you! thank you so much for reading! i'd love it if you left a comment to tell me what you thought, but if you don't want to that's fine too ^^ i just hope you have an amazing day, byeee :)


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